Hetalia School Meme
by Cornflake-Chan
Summary: Based on the deviantart Hetalia School Meme. I decided to make a writing tweak to the idea. Follow me on a regular school day with some of the coolest ?  teachers ever.
1. Chapter 1

Your Homeroom Teacher is...

I ran as fast as I could, weaving in between students in hopes of beating the tardy bell. My feet just made it into the door way as the bell began its shrill cry. I quickly took my seat between my two friends, Adam and Jennifer as the teacher entered the room – along with the scent of McDonalds.

"Haha, sweet! Looks like everyone's here! No point in doing any of that attendance crap!" Mr. Jones (or Alfredizzle as he is trying so very hard to get us to call him) announced as he walked to his desk. I've always loved his bomber jacket – it always looked so warm and not to mention pure awesome. He dropped his greasy bag on the large desk in the corner of the room, plopped (honestly, no other word for it) in his rolling chair, grabbed his soda and reclined back with his feet on the desk before him.

"M'kay, Pull out those thick book thingies and turn to... uh... whatever page we're on." He said as he pulled out a piece of chalk from one of the drawers. Mr. "Alfredizzle" Jones walked to the board and scribbled some words on the board. He stepped away, taking a deep slurp from his soda.

"Today we'll be learning about the heroic Lymphatic System in our Human Anatomy and Physiology books!" The words "CHAPTA 16 CRACKA – DA LYMPHATIC SYSTEM FOO!" was written largely on the board above a picture of "Lymph Man" using his immunity blaster to fight off pathogens. I quickly snapped a picture of the board with my phone's camera and dropped it into my backpack as I groped for a notebook to write notes in.

-OHLOOKTIMEISFLYINGBY-

"And the (munch munch) collects lymph from the (sluuuuuurp). Alright! That's enough notes for the day!" I stared incredulously at the man at the front of the room. Why the HELL did he not write the notes on the board or even type them out for us? I looked down at my notes. They were full of doodles (mostly Lymph Man) and sparse sprigs of words. I glanced at my text book. It seemed that I would actually be reading the chapter in hopes of passing the test later this week

"POP QUIZ!"

Groans filled the room, yet Adam seemed WAY to happy to be taking a pop quiz. The kid absolutely loved Mr. Jones, but so did everyone else. It also helped that he wanted to be a physical therapist, whereas I found the human body totally gross. Mr. Jones passed the papers out and I glanced down at my quiz.

QUESTION NUMBER ONE: What is the Lymphatic System's purpose?

I scribbled down my answer and continued on through the questions. Nothing that wasn't discussed other than the last question:

"How many hamburgers did I eat this morning during class?"

I racked my brain. How many DID he eat? The man puts those things away like a kid with Halloween candy! I marked a tally for each minute I saw him with a hamburger in his hand. SHIT! That would be, like, 88 freaking hamburgers! Sighing at my total fail math skills, I wrote 88 hamburgers and scribbled my name at the top. I stood, took my paper to the front of the room and placed it on his desk. Mr. Jones happily accepted it, and looked over it as I walked away. I slid into my desk and face-planted onto the top of my desk.

"Time for nappy-nap..." I slid my arms under my head and fell comfortably to sleep.

"Miss Metzger! YO! MISS METS-GURR" My head snapped up when my name was called.

"Y-yes sir?"

"Yo." Mr. Jones held up a piece of paper with a few red marks on it. I gulped audibly as I walked to get the paper. I took it from him as he began folding it into an airplane.

"Ah, thanks, Mr., uh, Alfredizzle." I said as I walked back to my desk. Jennifer glanced up at my paper as I began unfolding it. I shared the same look as I winced as I finished the job.

What. The. FUCK.

Drawings were thrown all over the page, several of Mr. Jones himself standing over the (I supposed dead?) body of Mr. Braginski, and a few of his brother and himself eating pancakes. I looked all over for an official grade and found it in the corner of the page.

99%

A ninety-nine? That's not so bad! Probably just got the hamburger question wrong. I sat in my seat and looked over the drawings that were scribbled on the page. A shadow loomed over me, and I glanced up. Mr. Jones was standing there with his red pen behind his ear. He pulled the pen from its perch and wrote a little bit on the quiz and left with a smile. I looked over the page to see his correction (or whatever you'd call it if it was the opposite of a correction).

99% + 5% **104%**

A grin spread across my face. Perhaps it's a good thing I was the first in the class to call him "Alfredizzle". I happily stuffed the paper into my backpack and prepared for the bell to ring. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad.


	2. Chapter 2

**...**

**I'm bracing myself for all the shoes/bullets/bricks that will be thrown/shot at me.  
I am super super super super super super super sorry about all of my stories being thrown on Hiatus. I didn't think it would, but my Senior year of High School destroyed my imagination and it unfortunately left me to write only essays and homework instead of awesomely good fanfiction. But fret not, for I shall find some way to gain your love again! Or respect. Or whatever it is that you may feel towards me... **

**BUT HERE IT IS: THE LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG AWAITED UPDATE OF THIS. THIS. THIS RANDOM AND YET AMAZING MEME.  
Hetalia Hearts will be updated ASAP, since I got ran over by the inspiration truck last night re-reading the chapters. Chapter five will be up hopefully before the end of this week!**

**Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Hetalia and did not create this meme.  
Side effects of this chapter may include, but are not limited to: LOLs, death, depression, seeing faeries, drunken behavior, ability to speak a flawless British accent, and a need to gripe about anything and everything.**

* * *

Your Literacy Teacher is...

The bell rang and I slung my backpack over my shoulder and walked out the door. Next up was Literacy class, and I wasn't really looking forward to it. Don't get me wrong- I love to read. It's just that my idea of literature has 'changed' since grade school and BEFORE Mr. Kirkland.

-ROFLMAOFLASHBACK-

"Okay, class, today we will be getting into the darker past of literature. Anyone care to guess?" Mr. Kirkland was writing "Literature's Dark Past" on the board, and had his back to the class. I glanced around, seeing that everyone had a book out, and a certain sparkly-vampire series seemed to be prominent. I can't believe they would honestly read those books as though they were the bible. I read them once – THAT'S ENOUGH.

"Miss Metzger, since you seem to be paying attention, would you care to answer the question?" I winced as he said my name. A few giggles passed through the room behind vampire-wannabe book covers. I turned a slow about-face. My gentle gray eyes met his piercing green ones. I made another quick survey of the room. Candles were lit on pedestals, and symbols were written on papers that were posted on the walls.

"Well, Mr. Kirkland, I believe that perhaps we are going to be delving ourselves into the arcane and magic from the dark ages in England?" I replied calmly, attempting to keep eye contact with him. The infamous green piercing gaze broke and softened. England. It is always good to research on that country for immediate brownie points from Mr. Kirkland (however, never take the brownies he offers). A small smile cracked on his face.

"Correct, Miss Metzger. 5 points." I exhaled heavily, not even knowing that I was holding my breath. Mr. Kirkland wrote (in amazingly perfect handwriting, mind you.) "Arcane and Magic of the Dark Ages" on the board and walked to a bookshelf.

"On this shelf you will find a reprint of a book full of magical spells and whatnot. Today you will read Chapters 1 and 2 writing every spell name you come across." He announced. Groans spread across the room like AIDS in a whore house.

-BACKTOTHENOW-

"Miss Metzger, please tell me you did your homework CORRECTLY." Mr. Kirkland's green eyes were pleading as I turned in my paper. That flashback? Yes. That happened YESTERDAY. Chapters one and two had caused a small fire to start in my back yard when I repeated words just from the ancient tomes. I made my way to my desk and dropped my backpack onto the floor. I kicked the backbreaking contraption under the seat and slid into the chair. Great, now my toe hurt. I muttered a few words under my breath, most of them being 'spell words' that I learned in my homework. My toe continued to sting. As if saying a few "magic words' would make the pain stop. I retrieved my homework and handed it to Mr. Kirkland as he walked past me. Sneering, he flipped through the pages and rolled his eyes.

"THANK GOODNESS."

Everyone in the room jumped at least a foot into the air. Mr. Kirkland's hands had slammed down on the table. He pulled out his red pen and scrawled all over a piece of paper. Oh wait, that was my homework. Shit.

"Everyone! I'd like you to learn from Miss Metzger – she knows that you find actual spells in these books, not the Harry Potter movies!" He announced as he handed our papers back out. As my paper floated to my desk, I noticed I had a large smiley face drawn on the top by my name and a largely printed 100. What the hell, was I back in Kindergarten? I glanced back at Mr. Kirkland as he continued handing out the failing grades. Mr. Kirkland and his faerie friends smiled at me. Everyone said were a figment of his drunk imagination, however Mr. Kirkland swore that the only people who could see faeries and other creatures were children and those pure of heart. I still have a childish mindset, so I suppose that is why I can see them. I was happy that I was beginning to get on good terms with Mr. Kirkland. I had this fear that he completely hated me.

"Alright then, first things first, we will review over the spells that were listed in the book." Mr. Kirkland announced, pulling a dark cloak out of the bottom drawer of his desk. He quickly wrapped the dark material over his shoulders and secured it around his neck.

The last words I heard before the fire alarm went off was, "You might want to stand back."

* * *

**Let me know what you think! I've got parts of Chapter Three done: Math Class is going to be interesting!**

**Flames are pretty much welcome this time since I'm sure some of you are probably upset with me not updating. I am truly sorry. :C  
However, I would like Reviews. Reviews are nice. They don't yell at me. :3**


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